Preparing for Baby Number Two
And the obligatory birth story….
Pregnancy, delivery and postpartum are some of the hardest (also amazing) experiences in the world… but it can be hard to properly prepare the first go around. WHy? Because you don’t know what you don’tknow and every person– heck every pregnancy– is different. But I am going to do my best to share with you what I did to make round 2 all around easier.
BUT FIRST:
My first pregnancy was pretty smooth– no puking, no cramping or bleeding, no bed rest or medical emergencies. However, I did not realize how unlike myself I felt until I got pregnant with my second; I would quite literally would wack my stomach on things because I TRULY forgot I was pregnant half the time. I FELT 100% NORMAL. My first pregnancy came with a lot of nausea, extreme fatigue, food aversions (of course to meat and salads), and cravings (for all the greasiest foods). As my pregnancy progressed I gained significant weight and really had some serious body aches by the end of the 41+ weeks. I also believed it was best to change my workout patterns and reduce my overall activity.
When baby’s due date came around and left without any signs of labor, I was pretty bummed. But after 1 week past due date, I was just straight pissed… and swollen… and so darn sick of waiting. So we scheduled an induction for 41+1. All night I hung out in bed… trying to rest and conserve energy. Being a first time mom, we did not realize I was in true labor (false contractions are normal for the medicaiton I was recieveing to help soften my cervix). After only 9 hours I had gone from 1cm to 9.5cm. Baby had not dropped though, and definitely wasn’t in the correct position for birth…. But when the nurses told me I could push during contractions if that felt better…. well …. I am type A, leo, first born, enneagram 8…. All the “GET SHIT DONE” attitudes. So if I can do someting that feels productive or sounds productive, I am doing it. I pushed for 4.5 hours without much progress. When baby’s heart rate started to drop we used the vacuum assist to get baby in a more correct position and to crowning. And then finally I was able to push her out. All this was unmedicated.
100% Worth it. But it was a hard experience on my body. From being super overdue to pushing for 5 hours. And finally delivering an 8lb baby. I ended up with postpartum preeclampsia. Not a great diagnosis. Most women get over this in 12 weeks but me and my swollen, traumatized body took over a year to recover (making it a chronic hypertension diagnosis and no longer postpartum preclampsia… but I still believe it was all birth related and my body just needed a very long time to recover).
After being discharged from the hospital 5 days after delivery, I was anxious to get home, get outside and try to resume normal life. (Current Jenna is shaking her head at former Jenna). Rest and relaxing and sleeping would have been the best option for me… for 2 or more weeks. But farm girls… you can’t tell them what to do, can ya? And you don’t know what you don’t know. So on top of my postpartum preeclampsia, I ended up with a low grade prolapse, inability to lose weight, and more.
The moral of this story? I had lots of minor mistakes that led to a pretty crappy birth and postpartum experience. So when going in for round 2, I knew I was going to do my best to do things differently to prepare my body for a smoother experience.
Without further ado….
Here are 8 things I did differently for the pregnancy and birth of baby number two:
Before we even became pregnant with number 2, I worked hard to get back to feeling strong and healthy in my body. Both physically and mentally. Check out THIS BLOG POST for all the details on what I did for that.
I always tried to eat something else before I gave into a craving. I know some ladies want salad or fruit… but I want the greasiest cheeseburgers known to mankind. I would do my best to remind myself that although they taste good in the moment, I would feel horrendous later that day and after the baby was here. I also set up ways for me to lock down apps like Doordash so that I had to really think about if I wanted to order food (one sec is a great productivity app that I use to help limit all of my social medias and online buying apps).
I continued my normal activies– both at work and at home– until it was absolutely unsafe for me to do so. Normal activities included but not limited to garden chores, chicken chores, halter training heifers, feeding calves and toddler chasing. Cannot recommend that last one enough to keep ya on your toes!
At the end of my pregnancy I focused much more on opening up my pelvis and helping baby to get into optimal position for delivery rather than doing everything with the intention of inducing. The goal was to get baby and me as ready as possible rather than to just get baby out. A small but HUGE difference both mentally and physically.
Found a doctor practice we totally trusted and enjoyed working with. The first time we found the most convenient one. It turns out I never even met with the other doctors who would end up treating me and it was a horrible match. This time we met all the doctors before hand and we had a working plan for several different scenarios that could come up, giving me so much more peace of mind.
Hired a doula. Although she barely made it to the delivery room in time (my fault not her’s… I thought it would be a much longer process so I didn’t give her enough time to get there), it was so nice to have someone to help guide me through all the weeks leading up to labor and my hundreds of questions. She helped me to come up with ways to talk to the doctors so that we both understood the goal and resolutions. She was able to help me feel confident in advocating for myself and what I wanted. The doula helped guide me and reassure me during my predomal labor. In the delivery room she also took some pictures in those first minutes and spoke up for things that she knew I wanted when Ed and I were too caught up in the moment. While the nurses were AMAZING (I literally don’t know how I would have survived without mine in birth one or two), it is nice to have an extra person there who works FOR YOU and you can hand select to meet your needs.
I knew I didn’t want to push until I actually could not push. I am not sure this is easy to do the first time. You simply don’t know until you know. I did guided pushing with my first the entire time. I was in control of all of it. With the second– I never once said to myself (or was told) “push now”. I let my body take over. Sure I supported it and when it started pushing I gave it my entire self, but it was natural. I went from 5 hours of pushing… to 5 pushes TOTAL.
Advocate for yourself and ask for what you need. Ask for different IV placement if they give you one that is really irritating you. My first was in my wrist. It was miserable and I was attached to it for several days and then it was still placed for days after that. This time I asked for a different placement and they were happy to help.
FINALLY….THE BIRTH STORY:
All these things really seemed to work. At about 36 weeks, I started having prodromal (labor that is helping move things into position but does not cause consistent dilation). I was beyond ecstatic because it was my goal to go into labor naturally this time. However, that got old reallllll quick. I felt like the boy who cried wolf every time I texted my husband or doula that I thought something was happening.
Finally at 38+5 weeks I had blood show and contrations all day! They were consistently 8 minutes apart, 30-45 seconds long. I thought SURELY this was it. But nothing progressed. I was in communication with my doula all day trying to get things moving. At bed time we decided to proceed with my normal bedtime routine, sleep and see if anything happened. Never in my life had I been so hopeful to be woken up in the middle of the night in severe pain. But alas, I woke up at 6am to…. NOTHING. I was so disappointed. I was scheduled to be induced the next day though so I was determined to spend my final day with my first child having fun.
We went to the park to walk and play on the play ground. We ran around in the backyard with our dog. We read all of the books, snuggled, built forts and ate all the snacks. After nap time, we strapped on our boots and prepared to head to the barns to do heifer chores. I finished up my conversation with my doula discussing a plan for the induction the next morning, and she told me to have faith… things could still happen. I chuckled and responded that I would not be holding my breath. On the way, Maddie was picking flowers and tripped over a branch. As prescribed by all toddler doctors, all boo-boos (visible to the adult eye or not) need mama’s kiss; so I squatted down for the healing kiss and POP! I swear I heard it. It felt like the strongest kick in the top of my belly except I instantly had fluid running down my legs.
My first thought was “no way… I literally just told the doula this wouldn’t happen.”
But I was incredibly excited. I immediately texted my husband to let him know, finished up at the barn and headed home to cook dinner with high hopes that contractions would start soon.
And start they did. They came fast and furious around 5:30pm– 5 minutes apart 45-60 seconds long. I ate some dinner, showered and bounced on my ball. The doctor recommended coming in sooner than later knowing that second births can be INCREDIBLY quick, but I knew I didn’t want to lay in bed or be hooked up in triage for longer than necessary. I was hoping to wait until I was unable to speak during contractions and unable to recover immediately after.
At 8:45pm we arrived at the hospital, I was checked into triage and dilated to 5cm around 9:30pm. By the time they got us to the delivery room it was 10:45pm, I was 6cm and things took a turn from bearable to holy f*cking sh!t real quick. Ed texted the doula to head over at 10:55pm, the doctor told the nurse to prepare the delivery tray and she would be back shortly to check on my progress.
At 11:30pm the nurse was frantically calling the doctor and telling me not to push as they broke the bed down for delivery. The doctor and doula came rushing in as I was crowning and little man was on my chest at 11:37pm.
It was an incredible and empowering experience, and although those forty minutes were pretty painful, it was my absolute DREAM birth experience.
Postpartum Prep:
And here are the things I prepared for differently for postpartum number two:
I splurged on the peri bottle that points up. Yes they give you some in the hospital. Yes I think the one that points up is worth every single cent.
My own disposable undies. Yes they will give you some for the hospital and at home. But I like a tighter fit and I think the frida ones were perfect.
No pressure to have a cute outfit going home. I wore a tshirt and shorts. I just had a dang baby, why do I feel like Ineed to look any sort of way besides hot mess express?
I didn’t overpack my bag. I had two outfits because in the hospital all I wore was the disposible undies and a nursing bra, maybe a shirt. Even with doctors and nurses coming in and out. They will be checking on your swelling and bleeding and want to watch you nurse anyway. Don’t feel like you have to cover yourself up if you don’t want to.
Along those line, I wore crocs. I used them as shower shoes and room shoes and coming into and leaving the hospital. One stop shop. (Yes I made sure they didn’t have any cow poop on them before we left for the hospital.)
Bring a pillow for you and your birth partner in any color other than white. The beds are not comfy. Their pillows are flat as pancakes. Just having one decent pillow to sleep on makes a huge difference.
Your birth partner should aslo bring a water bottle, a blanket and easy room shoes like crocs or slippers. (Our hospital only had one crappy blanket for the birth partner). They should also be prepared to pay separately for their own food or order food in.
Bring a stool or squatty potty. Just trust me on this one. It makes your life much much easier (not really less scary but it is definitely less traumatic).
Plan on following the 5/5/5 rule→ five days in bed, five days on the bed, five days around the bed. In other words, plan on keeping your rear end on a chair, couch or bed for at least two weeks and standing or walking for less than 5-10 minutes at a time. This can be really hard for moms with other kids and women used to being on the go. But resting is the best way to heal so you can get back to 100% sooner. Be sure to communicate this to your birth partner or spouse before hand so they aren’t surprised or tempt you by asking you to do other things and so you can make a team plan on how everything that needs to be done will be covered.
Make sure to have these things in your cabinet– tylenol, stool softener, ibuprofen, pads ranging from heavy to low, easy dinners and snacks, cooling sprays, deodorant, extra sheets, extra pajamas, comfy lounge clothes, nursing pads, dry shampoo, body wash, paper plates, and electrolytes.
Copy and Paste:
And finally a couple things that I did both times and would do over and over again:
Mommy Labor Nurse Birth Course
Milkology Breastfeeding Course
Hold off on too many visitors for the first two weeks
Maternity and newborn pictures– they grow and change so quick
Golden hour with baby
Reminder:
Please keep in mind (as I said 100x) you don’t know what you don’t know and every single baby and birth is different. I also think the fact that this was my second birth played a huge part in the easy labor. My body already knew what was happening. My experience could be vastly different then yours and any future children we may or may not have, but I wanted to share this positive birth experience and the things I did to help make it that.
Whether you choose to implement any of these practices or not, I hope you take away that advocating for yourself and listening to that mama instinct is the most important part. Best of luck to all you soon to be mamas! You were made for this!
JennaRenee
